Why did I stop posting?
The Future of @candychuckles
Dear friend,
This Instagram account began as my way of sharing things that I read, love and live. I didn’t like or have any good photos of mine to post. I thought but what if I post things I really liked. I have no other social media presence, even all my school and college friends follow me here.
@candychuckles was my way of documenting my journey through the online world of critical theory (some call it #theorygram), for me it was sort of a public archive of overarching domains of thoughts and their intertextuality. As Heidegger emphasised, finding a way of thinking that leads through language in an extraordinary manner.1
All that is fine, but why I am not posting?
Over the past year I have gained quite some following, this community has been supportive of my ventures. I can't be dishonest to them, to you and to myself, by continuing to share things that are no longer part of my lived experience.
Theory is a lifestyle, something that I lived during the COVID-19 lockdowns. Now as things are resettling, that lifestyle is no longer realistically persuable.
I turned 18 this July. And I am studying in a Christian school2 (11th grade). I have to deal with my prospects. Where do I go on from here now.
I belong to a poor family in a third world country3, as everyone else like me here I will have to eventually persue prosperity in STEM.
My analytical skills have drastically deteriorated in the pandemics quandering over Lacans and Deleuzes. A gap in studies have added to my inability in maths, something I have never faced before. I was academically very sharp.
Coming back to the topic, this account was an outlet for everything I cherished dear to my heart, everything that passed by my life. From chess to cinema, from Salimullah Khanto Slavoj Žižek, I have been completely honest in my endeavours.
But what has changed? What happened? 11th happened. It hit hard. From a 95% result in 10th to nearly passing the subjects with 1 or 2 marks to spare, I am alarmed. This can not be the order of things. I took things very lightly at the start of this year, I am feeling its gravity.
I lead a very studious life now, there is hardly much aversions from academic study (besides chess.com and YouTube).
So will I never post again? It's very simple.
I will only post if I feel like posting. If there is something that I loved that I wanted to share or document. I may share stories from time to time, but it is totally unrealistic to imagine I will give it the time I used to give during the pandemics or the time required to actually study and curate quality content to say or share something that is worth sharing.
It is an absolutely unstructured attempt to grasp the matter at hand, I am just pouring my heart out.
I am sorry if this is a let-down. You are obviously free to unfollow if you were just there for the theoretical (dis)contents.
I will never delete or close this account, the documentation of this much quality content is an achievement in itself.
While I am not posting anything, I urge you to go back to my early posts. See my journey, how I grew and what I grew on. It’s surely beautiful. Try to see what I was attempting between the lines, between the posts.
Of course, I don't hate theory now. I love Lacan more than anything. Even now, many things in him still mesmerise me like it used to do. He is still exciting and enthralling. My love for Žižek has diminished a lot, I don’t care about that old hog anymore. I am hainamorated4 by him. But my roots sink too deep in Žižek to completely dislike him.
Anyways, let’s end this.
In conclusion I am not posting because I am not reading, and I am not reading because I don't have time to read theory after struggling whole day with mechanics and calculus.
I will just have one regret at the end of the day: I didn't write much when there was still enough time to write.
Take love,
Your favourite #theorygram admin
Udoy.
Questioning builds a way. We would be advised, therefore, above all to pay heed to the way, and not to fix our attention on isolated sentences and topics. The way is a way of thinking. All ways of thinking, more or less perceptibly, lead through language in a manner that is extraordinary.
MH, The Question Concerning Technology.
Saint Joseph Higher Secondary School, https://sjs.edu.bd/new/index.php.
Bangladesh
The axiom that love is hainamoration (the nexus of hate and love) constitutes the first truth of psychoanalysis.
J. Lacan, RSI, 15 April 1975, Draft 2.
will you still post on here?
Rock on